I'm standing in Times Square. They're lighting it gold for childhood cancer awareness. I am physically present. I'm there but not there.
I've been on Facebook, but am scrolling by a lot of the posting if it is about childhood cancer. I'm walking down the street when the words “awareness fatigue” pop into my head. The words stay. They fit.
I am not sharing pictures of Jacob on social media. I only want to do that if it's not about cancer. He was more than just cancer. Even when he had cancer his personhood transcended that.
I'm not into him being a spokesperson. I am not making him a mascot. I'm leaving him be. This feels odd to say because he died. But he has better things to do.
I have better things to do with him.
We run into some nice people at Times Square. Childhood Cancer is like a small town. Everyone knows one another.
Hannah is with us. Noah is not. One of our friends asks after him. Noah doesn’t do awareness, Jeremy says.
A warm feeling envelops me. This is the best thing I’ve heard anyone say all day.
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