September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. Ashley was a
healthy child just like yours for six years before her leukemia diagnosis. If
you think that Childhood Cancer can’t happen to your child or your family you
are sadly mistaken. Childhood Cancer is not rare. Help spread awareness. Go
Gold!
These are not the actual words of any one individual. It is a composite of many statements I have
seen in my news feeds on Facebook and Twitter, shouted in rallies, and mailed to
me in fundraising letters. Names have been changed. Words have been
changed. I re-worked it but I didn't
write it. I wouldn't write it.
The rest of this writing is mine. I am addressing this to parents of healthy kids. Your kid doesn't
have cancer. None of your kids ever had cancer. You are not a bereaved mom or
dad. You are a regular parent doing more or less the best you can.
I'm giving you a heads up in case you see something like
this in your newsfeed or inbox or your snail mail. I'm showing you this now
because you might hear something similar on TV. Childhood cancer is making the
rounds.
The Childhood Cancer community might seem like one big
cohesive group. The truth is that childhood cancer advocacy is made up of
individuals. As such, I often agree with other voices in this community. But sometimes I disagree.
This is one of those disagreeing times. There are a lot more
days in September. If I didn't say something now, I’d be losing my mind until
October, when some of the more vocal childhood cancer people start begrudging the
breast cancer people their success.
The statement above is hitting below the belt.
Don't go there. Don't
take it to heart.
If you want to join my family in Times Square this September, you are invited. They're lighting it gold for
September.
If you want to wear a yellow shirt or a gold ribbon, I'd be
thrilled. If you take a moment to remember Jacob or kids like him, that means a
lot. You can make a donation here and feel
good about kids with cancer getting the best possible care.
If you want to organize a fundraiser with your kids' school
or at work, let us know. We can help you get started.
If you want to help kids with cancer by all means do so.
It is possible - but
not probable - that your child
may get cancer. It is true that Jacob was healthy until he wasn't. No one can
say which kid will get cancer.
Childhood cancer is not one big disease. It's actually a lot
of different cancers under an umbrella. "Find a cure for childhood cancer" sounds
oddly inaccurate to me. Finding cures for medulloblastoma, ALL, Wilm's tumor
and neuroblastoma is more like it.
The chances of Jacob being diagnosed with his particular
cancer type were approximately one in 4,500.
When you factor in his age at diagnosis, the unusual presentation, and other
features, he may have been the only child in the world with his exact diagnosis
at that exact time.
Numbers are numbers until it hits home. Once Jacob was
diagnosed, the situation was 100 percent.
I'm not going to get into numbers for childhood cancer in
general. Even one is too many.
But the odds are still overwhelmingly in your favor. The
child you wished for, the one who is toddling around, the one starting school,
the one starting college is probably not going to be diagnosed with childhood
cancer.
Most likely, when all is said and done, if you're reading
this now, cancer is going to happen to someone
else's kid.
So if you want to help - a donation, a fundraiser - hell, a thumbs up - do it altruistically, or
because of some other kid, my kid, me, or an idea. People help other people all the time.
You have my permission to put fear about childhood cancer
touching your children out of your mind. It
is unfair and unnecessary to ask you to go there.
Here's the thing. I'm different from you. My child had
cancer. But I'm also the same.
I have two other kids. These kids are healthy. They are
teenagers. They've made it this far. They're both doing great. There are no
guarantees. But I am so hopeful.
When I see a post or promotion asking for my help and there
is urgency because my child might be next then I know I am being manipulated in the most egregious way. I received
a snail mail from St. Jude to this effect. I took the free address labels and
ripped up the letter.
I am a childhood cancer activist. But I am fair. I won't use Jacob's memory to scare and
coerce people with healthy kids.
My yellow ribbon is borne out of heartache and loss. That
said, my September gold comes with a responsibility and positive mission. We all have choices about what to do with our
portion of that gold ribbon. Here's what I'm doing with mine.
You can join Jeremy and I along with Hope & Heroes in Times Square,
which is lighting gold in honor of Childhood Cancer Awareness Month on September 17th.
Camp Sunshine invites
families touched by Childhood Cancer and bereaved families to camp, for fun, fellowship
and support. Donate here.
I’m really inspired by the work - and fashion -
Bravehoods is engaged in.
This image is a thorn in my side and is making the rounds.
Awareness, targeted research, and funding save lives. Sour
grapes about breast cancer success doesn’t.
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