Vacation Stack

Earlier this August, I prepared to take a vacation with my family.

We are very fortunate. My husband’s family has a beautiful house in the Berkshires. We planned a 10-day trip there.

On the vacation agenda was hiking, an activity the entire family enjoys. We planned to take trips to the beach, have a museum day, a family movie night and meals cooked on the grill. We mapped out a nice balance of activities and relaxation.

In addition, I wanted to spend a substantial amount of time sitting and reading. I wanted to bring a stack of books with me on vacation.

My plans included reading some of many books, rather than packing and finishing two or three books.

About a week before the vacation, I set out to assemble my stack of books.

There were two books from the library that I had already started and was enjoying. I renewed those books. I packed them for my vacation.

One of the books was a gift from a friend who works in publishing. She is a book matchmaker for me. She is excellent at this. In addition, the book she sent me was something that she may have thought I needed to read because of some of my behaviors while her children and mine attended the same elementary school.

I know how to take a hint. I added that book to the reusable shopping bag I had designated for the stack.

I then consulted my Books to Read list. I ordered the rest of my stack from Amazon Prime.

Ordering all of these books was a splurge. Most of the time I reserve books at the library. Some of the books on my list would be so popular that I would need to wait a long time. Vacation time is like a special treat. I wanted my books to feel that way too.

I fashioned my order to be a mix of books I really wanted to read. I included some fiction and nonfiction. Since I was spending money on the books and helping to keep the publishing industry afloat, I was savvy. I ordered one book that the other three members of my family would want to read when I am finished.

Two of the books I ordered would be books I would want to keep and place on the shelf I have designated as my personal reference library.

One of the books had no real rhyme or reason other than an intriguing review I read.  This one book, purchased in hardcover – was an impulse item.

Once we arrived at our vacation locale, I unpacked the stack and arranged it fetchingly on a dresser in the bedroom.

The next morning, I carried the stack to the living room. Over the course of the vacation, the stack resided on the screened porch, the dining room table, the coffee table and the bedroom. One or two of the books would accompany me on vacation jaunts.

I thought about the best way of approaching my stack. An icebreaker was in order.

I began by reading five pages of each of the books. Once I read five pages of each book, I could read more of each book, more of only one book, or a mix.  This is a construct I found extremely appealing. That is why I continued to do that for the duration of the vacation. That is why I adapted this plan once I arrived back home.

I loved reading my five pages, then adding that book to the bottom of the stack. I loved rotating the books. I loved the sculptural quality of the stack. It was like a horn of plenty, only with books.

Near the end of our vacation, some extended family members vacationed with us at the country house. It did not take long for the other vacationers to notice the stack. The stack makes quite a statement. The stack is a conversation opener.

One vacationing family member asked if she could look at the books in the stack. I discovered that I liked nothing better than have a family member who is also a friend leaf through my stacked books.

The stack led to many conversations about the books - whether certain books were as extraordinary as people said they were, what advice given in books was good and which authors had their heads up their asses when it came to certain topics.

It was also nice to discuss which book reviewers had true understanding of a book and which clearly had their heads up their asses.

It was fun to hold forth on which writers were the real deal, which books were difficult to put down and which books could be a little slow going if I had to read more than five pages a day.

I finished two books in the stack while on vacation. The stack is now residing on the coffee table of my apartment. I have added two more books to the stack because I have discovered I like having a large stack. I like reading many books at once.

I am planning to spend a three-day weekend at the country house.  I look forward to assembling the Labor Day weekend stack. Watch this space for future stacks.

 Book titles in photograph, from top:

1) How To Raise An Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims

 2) The Rocks by Peter Nichols

3) Go Set A Watchman by Harper Lee

4) I Know How She Does It by Laura Vanderkam

5) How To Be A Friend To A Friend Who’s Sick by Letty Cottin Pogrebin

6) Signs Of Life by Natalie Taylor

7) The Rosie Effect by Graeme Simsion

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Destination Library

I Changed My Mind About: Finishing Every Book I Start

This Book Will Mess With Your Head

This Book Will Mess With Your Head

Still Alice by Lisa Genova

A few months ago, Jeremy was invited to join a book group. I'm glad that Jeremy enjoys book group. But it turns out that there's also something in it for me. That something is a steady infusion of new books. The book group selects a different book every month. Jeremy reads the book. If it strikes my fancy, I read it when he's finished.

Still Alice by Lisa Genova struck my fancy.

It was lying around the apartment. I read the description on the back cover. I kept asking Jeremy if he was finished yet. I bothered him about it. As soon as he was done reading that book I grabbed it.

The book is about a woman named Alice who develops early onset Alzheimer's disease. That's it in a nutshell.

If you've already seen the movie Still Alice, then you might want to skip this review, scroll to the bottom, and read some of the other book reviews I've written there. I haven't seen the movie yet, in spite of loving the book. I've been extremely busy. I'll see it at my first opportunity because I've heard it's excellent and I love the acting of Julianne Moore.

If you haven't seen the movie or read the book you can decide to read it or not based on my experience. I meant to write this post earlier, before the movie came out. Like I said earlier, I've been busy.

Lisa Genova knows her stuff. She's a neuroscientist. But she's also a gifted writer and a true storyteller. If you're anything like me, you will not be able to put the book down.

In my case, I found every excuse imaginable to read the book. On an extremely crowded rush hour subway, I had it suspended above my head, using the same hand I used to hold the pole to prop the book open. I read it while eating. I read it at night until I couldn't keep my eyes open. I used the book as a reward for completing unsavory tasks. All of the time I would have been on Facebook and Twitter I spent reading the book instead.

As a result of this binge reading behavior I finished the book about 24 hours after I started it. For me, the hook was that it was the combination of a great narrative with elements of a thriller, and a relatable main character that's fictional but so vividly drawn that she seems real.

I loved getting to know Alice. She's a brilliant Harvard Professor, a wife and mother. I found out what it is like to be smarter than I am.

I'm a big believer in multiple intelligences. When I say that Alice is smarter than me, I mean that in an IQ way. Pre-Alzheimer's she's extremely gifted at learning information quickly, imprinting it and accessing that information and learning immediately when needed.

Alice isn't smarter than me when it comes to emotional intelligence, social skills or creativity. She has some qualities that get her into hot water. It isn't the Alzheimer's. It's Alice. She's a fully formed character with foibles. If she were a real person and I were her friend, I'd have some things to say about her interpersonal skills.

I'm IQ smart. The difference between Alice and me is that I need what I call scaffolding. I have lists. I need more exposures to new information, in more than one modality. I need prompts to find the information. I have always been this way. The thing that makes me smarter than I used to be is anticipating what I need. Once I have these things, I'm golden.

I could tell from reading the book and reading between the lines of the book that Alice didn't need any of this before the onset of her disease.

One of the classic themes this story is mining is the idea of falling from a precipice. In this case, tumbling down from a tall ivory tower.

Here’s the part that messed with my head. At first I thought it was just me. I'm empathic, and apparently this feeling extends to people in books.

Then Jeremy told me that it messed with a lot of people's heads at book group.

Alice is realistic. She's my age. The forgetting she does at the beginning of the book is reminiscent of things that have happened to everyone. Then, slowly, and then more quickly things take a turn.

Because things are subtle at first I became hyper aware of any forgetfulness, inattention, stupid thoughts, misplaced items and my lifelong poor sense of direction. Things that usually pass by unnoticed were front and center for a few days.

This was really uncomfortable.

What saved this book from being just a sad sack and sorry tale was its complexity. Obviously, what is happening to Alice and a lot of real people is tragic. I've read articles and memoirs by caregivers in the Alzheimer's community. But I've never read anything where I got such a clear sense of what It could be like to have this disease from the inside. The person with the disease.

Most things get worse. But a few things get better. It allows you to think about what makes you you. Intelligence is a lot. For some people it can seem like almost everything. But memory isn't everything. Being independent isn't everything.

Things happen in this book that are amazingly touching and accommodating. It stretches the idea of what people can accommodate within themselves. It stretches the idea of what other people can accommodate.

Even if it's painful, even as it made me feel paranoid for a few days, even as I was sad for Alice and her family, for me, learning more about other people and their experience always trumps all of this. There is a richness and a humanity to this story that keeps me engaged. Greater understanding of other people always feels worthwhile. The book inspired this understanding exceptionally well.

The book allowed me to walk in Alice's shoes in a way that was tactile and emotional. Still Alice made me experience the urgency of what needs to be done. It raised my personal awareness. That sounds like a cliché because the word awareness is used in so many contexts. It's not an ice bucket challenge. It’s a really-engrossing-story challenge. This book may just be the start of something big. I hope so.

Other posts about books:

The Gateway Book

This Book Changed My Life

You Should Read The Rosie Project

You Should Read The Rosie Project

I just finished The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion. This is a great book. Here is why I think you will love it too.

You will become very pleasantly lost in the storytelling. This is a difficult book to put down.  Ayelet Waldman wrote one of the testimonials that appear on the book jacket. She loved it so much that she read it in a single sitting. Someone else called it compulsively readable. If you are a binge reader, then this is the page-turner for you.

My sense of humor gets me through a lot. This book is hilarious.

But The Rosie Project isn't just funny. The characters are realistically and poignantly drawn. They get into situations you wonder how they will get out of. You feel like you're old friends by the time you've finished this book. I wanted to hang out with people from The Rosie Project.  I had to keep reminding myself: This is fiction.

Don Tillman is the main character. He is extremely appealing, bright, creative and resourceful. He also has Asperger’s Syndrome. He's self aware and nuanced. His unique way of experiencing the world creates difficulties sometimes. It also makes him special. And brilliant.

There is a saying I've heard again and again. If you've met one person with Asperger’s Syndrome, you've met one person with Asperger’s syndrome. Don Tillman is not a stereotype. He's his own person. He's an individual who happens to not be typical. I found this very relatable.

If you possess any kind of difference that makes you seem like an outlier, then I think you will love this book. It's inspiring and optimistic and real.

If you have someone important in your life who marches to the beat of their own drum, then you will love and find comfort in it his book. Even as you notice the differences between the quirky person you love and Don Tillman, you'll gain understanding and insight anyway. This is what happened to me.

Let's say you were the head cheerleader in high school and married the star football player. Your friends are neurotypical. Your children are popular. I think you will like this book too. But more importantly, maybe you really need to read it. You especially.

One of my teenagers read it at the same time as me, and loved it as much as I did. The other teen is planning to read it. It's great for teens without screaming YA book.

It's also romantic without being Chick Lit. You'll love it guys. Really.

You will feel sorry when the book ends, but there is good news. Graeme Simsion is already working on a sequel. Once it comes out, I will buy it right away. I will not be reserving this at the library. I will not want to be on a waiting list for the next one.